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Tyrion gets 5 for a deep sigh and a weary “I think we ought to begin with larger concerns.” Yes, for example, we should discuss what happened to the dragon-killing technology that someone could have easily used to kill Drogon when he landed in the middle of an enclosed pit, right in front of the guy who invented dragon-killing technology. Jon launches into his speech about the army of the dead, which falls flat because Cersei correctly points out that it sounds like “a bad joke,” and it doesn’t make any sense to expect her to agree to a truce held up only by “the word of a would-be usurper.” She’s shooting the peace talks down left and right until The Hound emerges with a crazy wooden backpack and kicks the captive wight out into the arena to gargle and scream and flash his baby blues. Having added a much-needed hands-on element to his presentation about “The Great War” (messaging is so important, and it took Jon so long to get here, but I’m proud of him), Jon shows off the handful of ways you can kill a wight ( 10). Until the dead are defeated, they are the true enemy.” That was easy! I am not understanding how there are 40 more minutes of television to get through, seeing as everything is now fine. Cersei’s only condition is that Jon swears he won’t fight on Daenerys’ side to take the Seven Kingdoms post-truce.

At this point, we have two positive developments that I initially took at face-value like a total rube: Euron says he’s too scared of the wights to stay in mainland Westeros anymore, and declares that he’s going back to the Iron Islands to wait out the whole situation. Cersei is in top form in this episode, really doing impeccable emotional manipulation, and she leans on Jon hard with “I know Ned Stark’s son will be true to his word.” But Jon, being the world’s most handsome and honest doofus for long-term plot-related reasons, says he can’t make that promise.

Have fun dealing with them.” ( 10) Then she’s out of there, followed by Brienne, who manages a 10 for “Oh, fuck loyalty.” Incidentally, she never gets around to representing Sansa in whatever conversation Cersei invited her to King’s Landing for.

Here comes some violent-boy stuff to clear the air: To get back to King’s Landing, Theon needs the help of the approximately 11 remaining Ironborn soldiers, led by a rude guy named Harrag who hates him, so they commence beating the shit out of each other.

Daenerys arrives on Drogon after making everyone wait around for a while, a power move that isn’t as impressive as it used to be, because it comes with the quiet subtext of “I’m here, shitheads.

I have THREE — I mean, reunion special, stands up in the middle of Tyrion’s opening remarks to tell Theon to “submit,” or he’ll kill Yara. let’s talk about the sort-of boring universal enemy, death.

Tyrion, who looks more exhausted than we have ever seen him, even when he lived in a crate for a month, asks Jon, “Have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? ” ( 5) At this point, the King in the North bites back tears long enough to deliver a shoulder-dislocating reach of a speech about the value of truth-telling.

“When enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything,” he tells Tyrion, which would be a good line were it not followed up by the claim, “Lies won’t help us in this fight.” Jon, a lie murder you.” ( 5) Tyrion volunteers to go instead, and he preps for a long talk about simmering resentments by knocking back a glass of the house wine ( 5) without asking.

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